im addicted to the way i feel when i think of you

Soooo clearly i cant sleep since I'm up at 7:30 in the morning I've just had a lot on my mind for the past couple weeks. let me share with no one really :)

i miss my grandma a lot. i feel like there's so much i didn't get to talk to her about. there was so much going on around her funeral she wasn't really one of the fave people in the family for lots of reasons but she was my grandma and i loved her.

i miss feeling my dad would always be there for me no matter what. Its not just the fact that he gave me everything i wanted its that he was there. I was his first daughter so we had that bond. (yeah there's Reese but Reese has never been a warm loving type of person she more likes those who cater to her needs) i was his little girl and now it feels like he just doesn't care anymore.

i miss my dad

i miss middle school, never had so much fun and so little pressure its when i was able to just dream and believe in everything from life to love.

i miss Lauryn hill lol seriously she was who i wanted to be when i was little.

i miss moments with all my ex boyfriends. I'm not one of those people who dwells on the negative of old relationships. when i think back on boyfriends i think of everything i liked and all the moments that were just magical or so i thought at the time :)

i miss spending summers over my cousins house and having sooo much fun.

i miss knowing. i knew what high school i would go to , i knew what type of boyfriend i wanted, i knew what college i would go to, i knew what career i wanted , i knew how my life would be now i know nothing

i miss spending the night over friends houses and staying up all night making up dance routines and swooning over boy bands

i miss people who have evaporated out of my life. too many too name

i miss n*sync. people laugh when i say that but i do they were a big part of my teen years they were practically the soundtrack . i spent some of the best times of my life listening to them.

i miss having crushes. oh gosh how i hate boys but i do love a good crush ;) gosh i miss being surrounded by the best boys to have crushes on (high school boys unfortunately)

i miss you ........ Kristen

.......... soo i just thought if i wrote down all the things i keep thinking about the things i cant seem to just let be then i can get it out and move on efficiently . sooo ok now that's out time to start on something new. you know never look back stuff like that
............................................. shit i still cant sleep. and im freaking hungry

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song I'm listening to: The (after) life of the party - fall out boy

quote of the day: Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel. As every fairy tale comes real, I've looked at love that way.