Its late so its making me feel very lonely. i hate when i feel like this because it makes me think about pass relationships. Not really in a missing them kinda way but in a what the heck happened way. I believe I'm one of those girls who will love many times but never really be in love. You know those people that never get married " always a brides maid never a bride".
I wonder what is about me that makes me sooo forgettable or no not forgettable hmm i should say I'm more easy to get over. It always starts with some boy madly in love with me , i always get lines like " your so addictive" or "your so mysterious i just want to know everything about you" Then once i finally give in (which doesn't happen a lot ) they get over me. it happens that way every time. I don't understand like is it some kinda game or is it because i think its gonna happen it does. I'm not really sad about it i just would like to know because if that's the case ill just continue to have fun and never get too serious. Maybe its also because i don't believe in things like soul mates and happily ever after. I may be stopping myself from falling in love or not falling in love but more having a relationship (a real one). I would just like to know its not me. I just really want to be lovable and not just the girl everyone likes. Hell i don't want you to be addicted to me i want you to love me.
I don't understand what it is about me that gives off the friend with benefits vibe and not girlfriend. I get hit on a lot but yet its all ways in a i want to get to know you but then i just want to fuck way. Oh and don't even get me started on boys with girlfriends and why they absolutely love me! I've never been a long relationship but I've never had bad relationships either. Its just all so confusing. Its like "Love never wanted me but i took it any way". This shit just all makes my head hurt !
On the brighter side I'm planning a party for one of my friends birthdays. I kinda want people to come but if they don't we will have fun anyway and were going out after so that should be super! Oh not so good I'm being stalked seriously this fool keeps showing up at my house i don't even know him. He saw me walking my dog now he wont leave me alone. I think i may have to get one of my guy friends to come hang out with me all week. Gosh I feel like i should just sleep for days , i doubt i would miss anything.
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Song I'm listening to: Yummy- Gwen Stefani
Quote of the day : "To the love, I left my conscience pressed Between the pages of the Bible in the drawer "What did it ever do for me" I say It never calls me when I'm down Love never wanted me But I took it anyway Put your ear to the speaker And choose love or sympathy But never both Love never wanted me" -XO-fall out boy
I wonder what is about me that makes me sooo forgettable or no not forgettable hmm i should say I'm more easy to get over. It always starts with some boy madly in love with me , i always get lines like " your so addictive" or "your so mysterious i just want to know everything about you" Then once i finally give in (which doesn't happen a lot ) they get over me. it happens that way every time. I don't understand like is it some kinda game or is it because i think its gonna happen it does. I'm not really sad about it i just would like to know because if that's the case ill just continue to have fun and never get too serious. Maybe its also because i don't believe in things like soul mates and happily ever after. I may be stopping myself from falling in love or not falling in love but more having a relationship (a real one). I would just like to know its not me. I just really want to be lovable and not just the girl everyone likes. Hell i don't want you to be addicted to me i want you to love me.
I don't understand what it is about me that gives off the friend with benefits vibe and not girlfriend. I get hit on a lot but yet its all ways in a i want to get to know you but then i just want to fuck way. Oh and don't even get me started on boys with girlfriends and why they absolutely love me! I've never been a long relationship but I've never had bad relationships either. Its just all so confusing. Its like "Love never wanted me but i took it any way". This shit just all makes my head hurt !
On the brighter side I'm planning a party for one of my friends birthdays. I kinda want people to come but if they don't we will have fun anyway and were going out after so that should be super! Oh not so good I'm being stalked seriously this fool keeps showing up at my house i don't even know him. He saw me walking my dog now he wont leave me alone. I think i may have to get one of my guy friends to come hang out with me all week. Gosh I feel like i should just sleep for days , i doubt i would miss anything.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Song I'm listening to: Yummy- Gwen Stefani
Quote of the day : "To the love, I left my conscience pressed Between the pages of the Bible in the drawer "What did it ever do for me" I say It never calls me when I'm down Love never wanted me But I took it anyway Put your ear to the speaker And choose love or sympathy But never both Love never wanted me" -XO-fall out boy
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